Lost Sacrifice

Arrival in life never occurs with drums and trumpets but it comes little by little and slowly comes upon us.

Given time the shirker shall be exposed and the leader realized.

Will you concentrate your life on the physical body and satisfying it or on the acquisition of spiritual qualities?

Keeping your skills to yourself and serving no one is a selfish thing to do.

What chain are you forging for yourself by the life you live this very day?

This poem below was written as I sat in a sacred place and the words just seemed to flow into my mind as I wrote. There has been little if any editing done. I hope that you enjoy it and pull what you need from it.

LOST SACRIFICE

Help me now to find the way
to feel the wind on this day.
Help me now to find the touch
of guiding truth that cares so much.

What will fill my life here now?
Who will be the ones I'll love?
Or the ones I'd leave with no regret
for something else that God can bless?

For what is there that I can't see
that calls my name to be free
and bless and give so freely true
of life divine, it's just like you?

You gave up everything and all
for something you believed at call.
Even if against the thought,
you gave up all to keep yourself.

Therein lies the great and last,
the sacrifice that herein lasts.
Will we give up all we own
in order to protect our own?

What will we give to keep us true?
How shall we change the things we do?
When we live up on high,
and look back down from the sky?

What will we say when all is gone?
That we loved all along?
That we came and found our way
to stem our weakness, found the way?

Or will we wonder why we spent
so much time upon the shelf
fielding useless thoughts and minds
into our soul with wondering mind?

Don't let your vices swallow up,
and don't give all to guard you true,
to base desires inside your mind,
those thoughts that eat, destroy, and bind.

Stand up tall and remember well
that in your heart a God now dwells
truly there in waiting awe
to be released, a seed of peace.

So open up your heart and soul
and change your being, challenge now,
take the lesser part of self
and cast it out from off your shelf.

Change your soul and watch in joy
as a God is born this day
deep inside your heart and soul
open up and fill your soul.

Destiny: Are we created by it or do we create it?

How much of what we know comes because of the cultural, societal and religious views amongst which we are raised?

Do I believe in 'Destiny' or in the fact that we create our own? The argument in my head says I make and create my own yet God knows me and the decisions I will make before I make them. God knows us that well and more. I feel that if I follow the pull I feel in life that will be in the right place at the right time! So am I confused. What is making me? Is it destiny? Or myself?

I have led myself by the nose and placed my faith in where I should be as opposed to placing my faith in acting according to my faith in the moment. I know it is my decisions which move me in any direction... yet how often have I given up my decision to follow... the pull?

Just because there is a pull does not mean it is true and right. The darkness can pull just as easily as the light, for there is much gray laid before us to pull us from the light towards the dark.

What will we do?

Follow your sense of what to do. Often times we feel that we should do something or say something or go somewhere and we shrug it off. That is called betraying our sense and as taught by Arbinger is also called self-betrayal. When we betray the senses we justify ourselves in our bad behavior and demean those around us.

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To give an example... let's say a man comes home after a long day at work and finally relaxes into his chair with a sigh. His wife is not in good health and needs to rest frequently throughout the day. She tries to work as much as possible to help with the bills and the kids but she gets so worn out she is in bed half the day normally. As he sits there the phone begins to ring and after a few rings he realizes his wife is in bed. The idea comes into his mind that he should let her sleep and get the phone... but he sits there and then it begins. He betrays his sense and thus himself in not doing anything. The moment he does not rise he begins...

Why should I get up and get it? I worked hard today. I deserve to rest. I am a great husband, working the way I work to provide for this family... she has been in bed all day. (sigh) Lazy.

Then he hears his wife getting out of bed and answering the phone and the guilt sinks in. Instead of apologizing he betrays himself even more and the thoughts continue.

Took her long enough. I worked hard and I deserve to relax...

In justifying himself with such thoughts he increases his value in his own eyes and by demeaning his wife he decreases her value and increases his own. This is one reason why relationships are hard. We do this without knowing we do it.

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Stop betraying your senses and stop justifying yourself in your betrayals.

We all choose to sow differently and we will reap the rewards of our actions whether they entail our own self-betrayal or not.

Another part of destiny speaks of hardship. An old saying says that all high-roads are paved with daggers... not very pleasant to walk on. If we ask for happiness we must be prepared for paina and trial to achieve it for it is only available after walking up the path of daggers. If we ask for humility we must be prepared to be humbled or to experience situations which will give us the opportunity to be humble.

The wheel of life turns and there is balance in the wheel at all times. Good for evil, pride for humility, joy and saddness. We cannot have one without the other... so as we explore destiny let us keep this in mind.

Remember that the means lead to the ends but are not the ends themselves. The goal in a world full of people putting on appearances and pretenses to be what they are not... is to be and not to seem. Many of the words which have flowed from the mouths of wise men and women throughout the ages return upon this idea. To be and not to seem. Think on them and ask yourself... are you what you are? or are you pretending to be something else for whatever reason? to fit in? to be accepted? to avoid ridicule? to avoid responsibility?

Look at how much do we know compared to how much we say because it is culturally or religiously accepted as right and true? Have we been told the same things since childhood and made to repeat them until they become true to us? This is how societies, cultures and religions in general perpetuate their beliefs in future generations. Each has its own stories surrounding the truths and mysteries of God, or the Universe for those not fully aware or in agreement about the existence of a supreme being. It is repetition of family, friends, and society which show and teach us the so called truth of our world.

Until we awaken as the masters of our own Destiny we follow the principles and edicts of the culture and time in which we find ourselves. We must awake from the dust and seek our answers and not simply swallow what is handed us. It is possible to be a blessing to all no matter what religion we find ourselves a part of, no matter what value system or moral code we follow. What is important is that we do the best we know how and never think it is enough. We must, and this is the Edgewalker in me talking, embrace our culture and yet always ask why - Does the custom and habit build up or tear down? Does it serve or not? If it is building you up it is worth guarding, if it tears you down it is worthy of being cast down trodden under foot.

Be yourself wholly and completely. Put away your pretenses and appearances and know what you know because you know it, do what you do because you do it, live right because you know it is right.

Destiny is said to hold us all in its grasp at some point in time. What will we do? That is a question only we can answer in the moment when the decision is placed before us. Some roads may be visited again and others shall never cross our paths again no matter how much we wish or try to find them again.

So now the question: What is destiny to you? Does it control you? Do you control it? Are you destiny itself? Who or what creates your future. In answering these questions for yourself you will see a little clearer into your own mind.

Hard Times Give You Something!

It has been awhile since I have written on here and much more that has both happened and been thought of will be written soon. This week has been the first week I have been able to type in a normal manner. About two months ago, give or take a few days, I was playing football down on the ranch with the youth there. While running to grab one their flags I reached out and missed the flag just as he blew past me. As he continued on I had to slow down and as I did so felt my finger go numb. I figured I jammed it and looked down. The tip of my ring finger on my right hand was dislocated! It was pointing almost straight sideways!

It didn't really hurt but it felt numb. After everyone looked at it for a minute, and a couple of the guys almost feinted, I grabbed it and snapped it back into place. Surprisingly that didn't really hurt either but it was still numb. About thirty minutes later I couldn't move it without pain shooting up my arm so I went inside and splinted it. Last week I took the splint off and that finger tip droops a little bit now but is coming along nicely! I can type again so here I am!

Today I was discussing my future with my mother and what I plan to do with it. She is a woman of great faith and her only concern is that I put God first and be where He wants me to be in my life. As we talked we both talked of something from a little different angle and I found what came of it quite fascinating!

How often do we of faith think that if we follow God and do what He would have us do that 'All shall work together for our good' and be perfect!? We think that quite often I must confess and I can see it both in my life and the lives of those around me... and yet it is only part of the story. 'Bad' things also work together for our good. Hard experiences teach us to appreciate and help us to grow. Just because we are experiencing pain in our lives does not mean we have forsaken God or gone against Him. It does not mean we are in the wrong place. God may want us to be happy but he wants us to know the difference.

One reason I have not typed much on here is because I couldn't type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts and that galled me quite a bit. The reason I mention it is that because of my dislocated finger I began to appreciate all the things I normally do that I now cannot do in quite the same manner or fashion.

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Now think back in your life on the hard times, perhaps you are in one now... What lessons are you learning? What have you already been taught? Are there more lessons hidden inside of this experience? What else could you be missing?

We tend to stay in certain circumstances and live them over and over again until we LEARN the lesson and APPLY it in our lives. If we only see and recognize the lesson... that is great... but it will change nothing. When we recognize something that stops us and keeps us trapped, it is that that we must change. On changing ourselves to conform to the lesson, we grow and are no longer plagued by that trial in the same fashion. It may come back stronger or with a different face but we will remember how to get out of the trap we set for ourselves.

Think of where you are now and the circumstances you are in. They do not mean that God has forsaken you. When you taught your children to walk, or were taught to walk yourself, you had to let go of their hand at some point. What a frightful thought as the child! It is the same learning to ride a bike... the first time your parents let go it might hurt when you fall... but you learn from it and get up again until you have mastered riding the bike.

We are created in the image of God, of the Great Creator of heaven and earth and He wants us to be happy. The problem is this, for us to be truly happy it must be our choice. We cannot be forced into it. Thus come difficulties as we choose our own way. These difficulties help us to appreciate life and the many blessings around us, and help us to appreciate the moments when God was holding our hand as we took our first steps. Now that we have learned to walk on our own we wander through the world and take step after step through experiences both good and bad.

Remember that no matter what happens in your life, whatever will happen, or whatever has happened... so long as you focus on making the best decision you can at the time... you will be able to see the dawn breaking across the horizon and watch the shadows of your difficulty slowly fade with the rising sun.

Many times in my life I have wondered if I was on the right path because I felt alone and the path was difficult to walk. Yet I know that what does not kill me only makes me stronger... that it is the hard experiences which teach me who I am and what I will be. Through trial we toil upward, through ease and comfort we begin our own demise. Through love we ascend to the heights while through hate we experience the depths of hell. Through growth we experience joy, through complacency and indolence, depression. Take your choice... you say you would be where God wants you to be? Do not expect it to be easy. Nothing good was ever easy. It is the journey that brings joy and not the destination.

Keep those things in mind and try them on in your life to see if they work for you. Keep smiling and remember to look for the lessons all around you.