Destiny: Are we created by it or do we create it?

How much of what we know comes because of the cultural, societal and religious views amongst which we are raised?

Do I believe in 'Destiny' or in the fact that we create our own? The argument in my head says I make and create my own yet God knows me and the decisions I will make before I make them. God knows us that well and more. I feel that if I follow the pull I feel in life that will be in the right place at the right time! So am I confused. What is making me? Is it destiny? Or myself?

I have led myself by the nose and placed my faith in where I should be as opposed to placing my faith in acting according to my faith in the moment. I know it is my decisions which move me in any direction... yet how often have I given up my decision to follow... the pull?

Just because there is a pull does not mean it is true and right. The darkness can pull just as easily as the light, for there is much gray laid before us to pull us from the light towards the dark.

What will we do?

Follow your sense of what to do. Often times we feel that we should do something or say something or go somewhere and we shrug it off. That is called betraying our sense and as taught by Arbinger is also called self-betrayal. When we betray the senses we justify ourselves in our bad behavior and demean those around us.

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To give an example... let's say a man comes home after a long day at work and finally relaxes into his chair with a sigh. His wife is not in good health and needs to rest frequently throughout the day. She tries to work as much as possible to help with the bills and the kids but she gets so worn out she is in bed half the day normally. As he sits there the phone begins to ring and after a few rings he realizes his wife is in bed. The idea comes into his mind that he should let her sleep and get the phone... but he sits there and then it begins. He betrays his sense and thus himself in not doing anything. The moment he does not rise he begins...

Why should I get up and get it? I worked hard today. I deserve to rest. I am a great husband, working the way I work to provide for this family... she has been in bed all day. (sigh) Lazy.

Then he hears his wife getting out of bed and answering the phone and the guilt sinks in. Instead of apologizing he betrays himself even more and the thoughts continue.

Took her long enough. I worked hard and I deserve to relax...

In justifying himself with such thoughts he increases his value in his own eyes and by demeaning his wife he decreases her value and increases his own. This is one reason why relationships are hard. We do this without knowing we do it.

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Stop betraying your senses and stop justifying yourself in your betrayals.

We all choose to sow differently and we will reap the rewards of our actions whether they entail our own self-betrayal or not.

Another part of destiny speaks of hardship. An old saying says that all high-roads are paved with daggers... not very pleasant to walk on. If we ask for happiness we must be prepared for paina and trial to achieve it for it is only available after walking up the path of daggers. If we ask for humility we must be prepared to be humbled or to experience situations which will give us the opportunity to be humble.

The wheel of life turns and there is balance in the wheel at all times. Good for evil, pride for humility, joy and saddness. We cannot have one without the other... so as we explore destiny let us keep this in mind.

Remember that the means lead to the ends but are not the ends themselves. The goal in a world full of people putting on appearances and pretenses to be what they are not... is to be and not to seem. Many of the words which have flowed from the mouths of wise men and women throughout the ages return upon this idea. To be and not to seem. Think on them and ask yourself... are you what you are? or are you pretending to be something else for whatever reason? to fit in? to be accepted? to avoid ridicule? to avoid responsibility?

Look at how much do we know compared to how much we say because it is culturally or religiously accepted as right and true? Have we been told the same things since childhood and made to repeat them until they become true to us? This is how societies, cultures and religions in general perpetuate their beliefs in future generations. Each has its own stories surrounding the truths and mysteries of God, or the Universe for those not fully aware or in agreement about the existence of a supreme being. It is repetition of family, friends, and society which show and teach us the so called truth of our world.

Until we awaken as the masters of our own Destiny we follow the principles and edicts of the culture and time in which we find ourselves. We must awake from the dust and seek our answers and not simply swallow what is handed us. It is possible to be a blessing to all no matter what religion we find ourselves a part of, no matter what value system or moral code we follow. What is important is that we do the best we know how and never think it is enough. We must, and this is the Edgewalker in me talking, embrace our culture and yet always ask why - Does the custom and habit build up or tear down? Does it serve or not? If it is building you up it is worth guarding, if it tears you down it is worthy of being cast down trodden under foot.

Be yourself wholly and completely. Put away your pretenses and appearances and know what you know because you know it, do what you do because you do it, live right because you know it is right.

Destiny is said to hold us all in its grasp at some point in time. What will we do? That is a question only we can answer in the moment when the decision is placed before us. Some roads may be visited again and others shall never cross our paths again no matter how much we wish or try to find them again.

So now the question: What is destiny to you? Does it control you? Do you control it? Are you destiny itself? Who or what creates your future. In answering these questions for yourself you will see a little clearer into your own mind.