Emotions, Mastery and Perfection

The Power of Emotions,
The Delay of Mastery,
The Essence of Perfection.


A few weeks ago I wrote something about the impact of emotions and what I noticed about them at the time. I found the notes I wrote saved somewhere and have put portions of my thoughts up now. I have learned alot about how we tend to function as emotional beings... as people interacting with one another and it has been insightful, exhilerating, frightful, and quite painful as well. Emotions are interesting things... for they cause us to push forward where nothing can stand in our way... or they can keep us in confusion and indecision. Emotions control everything in our lives and little do we realize the effect of emotion as it permeates everything we do.


I have learned this week that in our lives we learn how to behave given a certain set of circumstances... we learn to do things a certain way and handle them so that they do not disrupt the flow of life. I have moved nearly 40 times in my life and as such have built up quite the defense against other people. I have learned to emotionally disconnect in order to protect myself. For the last year I have been working on opening up with others and have done amazingly well at that... while still being single. I make that distinction because I have learned to be single very very well, I have dealth with the big issues of my life and learned how to handle them and be single effectively.

The interesting thing I have realized is that inside of a relationship the things we have learned to deal with come back with new faces... new problems... new challenges. The things we have mastered in one realm are completely different in another. With each new change and obstacle I become as a babe about to commence the journey of life once again. The only thing that has changed is my solidity, my character, and how I will deal with my new found problem. For me relationships are a completely new journey and one that over the course of my life I have rarely, if ever, fully entered into aside from with my immediate family. The future will be interesting.

Back to the present - As I talked with Ron about my future plans involving working as a white water guide in Alaska this summer and working for a wilderness survival program until then he made a comment that went something like this: "When are you going to decide what to do with your life?!" I have no idea. All I know is that I have yet to find or decide upon the thing itself!


Looking up at Ron's family on the wall I see a group of people who represent something fine within us all. They represent home. In my eyes I am at home wherever I go... yet today I realized a slight difference. As I looked up at that wall I am only at home when there is a future somehow involved... a bright and glorious future. There is alot to be said of having a vision of the future... it can pull us out of the despair of the past and forward through the present into the future. Somehow we often get disconnected from our present attachments as our future changes. It is quite an interesting phenomenon. As our vision pulls us towards one goal or objective we are no longer satisfied with things which lead us away from that goal. When the future before us changes our present is altered forever and how we see our past changes as well.


Thus the past and the future are forever linked together through the present. How we take today and project it into tomorrow has a great deal to do with what we see when we look in arrears. I look forward to years of future discovery... though whether my path leads me where I plan to go or not, I do not know... Isn't life interesting? We act and do... those actions give way to possibilities and then unbeknownst to us we meet someone who suggests something that alters the course of life. It becomes an amazing dance among lives and I am beginning to see the beauty in it... the joy of changing dreams as well as changing beings!


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After getting back from the Ranch today I was watching a wonderful movie, 'The Last Samuai.' It is a favorite of mine and today I saw a few lesson readily available within it that can be taken straight to heart. First off, words are nothing more than the meaning we give them. If we internalize this learning another language becomes easy, as can many other things related to language. Sometimes letting go is just as hard as learning... for in reality it is simply a new form of learning. Nothing can be forgotten within the human mind without it being replaced... at least from the standpoint of things we can do.


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The second thing that struck me hard today as I watched the movie and looked back at my life and the lives of many, if not most, of the people I have met throughout my life. We lack the discipline of the past, of the great men and women of this world. Those who made a difference set themselves above the crowd and held themselves as examples of how to be and how to live.


They sought mastery and inner peace. A calmness of mind, a clearness of voice and a steadiness of character. That is something which sets them apart from the masses and unless you would become one of many, lost within the masses, it is time to awaken and become something more.


These things; mastery, inner peace, a calmness of mind, a clearness of voice and a steadiness of character... serenity of soul... has been lost in the presence of instant gratification and the all pervading mentality and ideology of entitlement. To find the serenity of self mastery we must turn against this trend and commit to the path of mastery, to master ourselves. Part of the issue from which this stems today arises because of the vast amount of information available around us. It is not enough to be what we see... for we see too much. In our generation we will not grow up idolizing only a football player desiring to become that above all else, but will grow up with many idols. Television and MTV have given the youth of today so many idols to choose from that they are quite unsure which to follow and thus dabble in all things but excel in none. Because of this abundance of knowledge many do not know, which, of the many paths and options they would pursue to mastery during their lives. The effects of this are quite interesting when explored further.


Today the pursuit of mastery in our lives begins later than it has in the past generations and ages. In the past you were considered old and well aged at 40 or 50... today it is at 80 or 90. This does not, however, make such a great difference as we might imagine for we do not begin the path of mastery in any one thing until much later in our lives... that being said... some never begin that journey. It seems that in an age when information is vast and abundant, and the choice of skills to master are immense that we actually do have ample time to sort through it all and decide where our mastery lies.


After going through this train of though I ask myself what would I master? The answer is simple enough. Myself. How will I do this? Through wisdom and a continued learning process. Life is not about becoming a master... for all masters never stop learning... they are always beginners. The moment one considers himself a master he begins to retrograde in skill and ability. The master is humble and knows what can and cannot be done. He does not flaunt his ability or exagerate in any way. Mastery comes from many years of ups and downs, and numerous surmounted obstacles along the way. Through it all the goal is not to arrive... but to keep going... to remain in motion... to continue learning... to stay on the path of mastery. Mastery cannot be arrived at... it is the perpetual continuation of a path started long ago.


What will you master? I choose my very being. Then let come what may I will remain true and steadfast amidst the storms and vicissitudes of life. Yet the goal is not perfection in the striving of mastery of self... for in this life there is no such thing. Each blossom on the tree is different yet in its own way - perfect. We are like this as well... every blossom is different... perfect... as it is. Every person is different... perfect... whole... and complete... as they are. And together we make up the landscape of the world - magnified by all the bold and subtle colors and shades of the rainbow. Though none of us is perfect, we are all perfect. Perfection becomes the road we walk and not the destination we reach. I am beginning to wonder at the power of emotion. We do nothing without the power of emotion behind it. Whether the emotion be love or hate, kindness and mercy, contempt and loathing, pity or saddness, joy or pain... everything we do is tied into an emotion. The great sea of emotion sweeps over the past, present and future, strangely coloring the images before us with its many and sometimes illuminating incandescent hues.